Beauty in a community. ….

I have never felt so welcomed and excited to be a part of WordPress.  I have found such profound blogs that leave me intellectually stimulated and laughing out loud, I’m visually inspired by the amazing photo blogs.  So I just want to say thank you to those who pass through and like my rants and also who allow me to follow you guys thanks!!!! 🙂

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What was the one experience that completely changed your life? What happened? How did it change your life?

Wow I feel anytime I hit the inspire me blog button I always end up with a loaded question and I am forever relating it to my relationship. Oh well we write what we feel and know about, that is when we are our purest self, yes no?

As a woman but rather a person who has experienced love, relationships I can safely say I have no regrets. I am one of few that can say that and it be honest. I have dated and married two polar opposites. The workaholic, successful,  type A personality yet emotionally detached. Where marriage was a merger. Children are not an option because we want to have fun. Then on the other side I am now with the sensy. The guy who sobs at cartoon movies and commercials. The one who everything is majestic and beautiful. Where the now is more important then the financial future and money can always be made. We have what we need not what we want. Where hand me downs are relics and sentimental.

 So when I divorced my first husband and met my second spouse my life went from a emotionally detached….. to well having a man who believes in big foot. This was life altering for me. The day our paths crossed again was the day my life changed. I took a leap of faith left my cushy job to move back home for one reason a chance to really set roots. It was the best decision I have ever made. Bt so was my first marriage it was good for me at that time. I learned so much about myself and what it was I wanted out of life, what was important to me, what I was able to do with and without. It all made me a better person and a better mother now.

Beauty in a morning run….

The beauty that can be seen in a morning run is just beyond word.s Not only does running allow me to leave behind a cloudy sense of mind. I also am able to see clearer visually and mentally. I am able to conquer my day and prioritize what tasks are more important. I love it and of course it helps my munchkin get out and get some vitamin D and well gets him mentally stimulated as well. I try to do family runs at least one day on the weekend. My spouse isnt the most driven in regards to running but I do do my best. If my son sees his dad running then he will always have the stay healthy running bug. I also try my best at keeping a healthy diet but I do allow cheat days. or meals. Pizza is my cheat meal of choice and we all know I love my adult beverys…. lolol my new motto a run a will keep the fat away. I also find the most amazing photog shots while running a lonely black cloud, blooming cactus tangled in a parking lot fence. A tree losing dried leaves. I mean just so much. But alas I never have my camera because of fear of it getting wet on a puddle I run over with the stroller.  Gonna just have to take a car ride and re-scope it  out.

This is my peace and quiet outside on the porch laptop and a drink. While my son has his father serenading him inside on the guitar.

Beauty in playing wife and counselor…..

The beauty of being a mom is wearing different hats in your family is that you aren’t just you… You are wife, lover, psychologist, mother, friend, sex kitten, cook, medic, teacher, speech therapist, dog whisperer… The list goes on however when you need a shoulder to rest your head or ear to listen. It turns into your needy and complain a lot. So you just start to stay quiet and shove those feelings deep deep down! Yes its not healthy but you also have to be peacemaker. After a day of cleaning folding cooking shopping errands yelling at Friday drivers who have no idea where they are going. Last thing I wanna do is hear about my spouses day at work after 8 years in the business if you are complaining about the same thing its time to make a change. You’re not happy and for crying out loud.. I am not happy listening to you not being happy.  I am finding peace and solitude sitting outside on the porch drink in hand ….a whipped cream peach vodka  yummers, because today I put my foot down and said I need time to unwind from Curious George and you and my lil guy screaming momma because I am the only person around lol. ( It is the best sound don’t get me wrong so awesome.) But sometimes I just want to have some peace and hear my fingers hit the keys of my keyboard on the computer. 

beauty in the words we speak and thoughts that are thought….

Its funny part 2 or 163 of my day I am sitting here attempting to finish the cup of coffee I poured myself this morning at 730 am while I was getting a talking to about my role as a homemaker… Yay I went there. I have my kid in bed napping.  I am making a list of what needs to be picked up at the store and my phone starts to go off with tweets. I get a follower my heart flutters when I do. Its like you really think my blabbing and daily updates on my cardio sessions are important…. Flash back Sally Fields…” You like me, you reallllly like me!” No I probably make their lives seem less pathetic and you know what thats ok too. Anyhoo, I read this twitters headline… “I think of things and make it happen.” Simple to the point and wow I am jealous almost. To be able to think of something great and make it happen. I am lucky to have a peaceful thought with out forgetting it as it reaches my lips and then….wait what was I talking about again…shit no seriously.. hold on let me go over this again…..Ok and I am back The twitter guy..lol.

Being a parent ok let me go back being a mom who carried their child through the pregnancy process isnt easy. It is a miracle you literally are making a human being your body everything inside of you is making this childs hair, skin, nails teeth buds. I mean this is how close to God you can be because he is giving you the ability to do this and yet there is a trade. Your hormones are unbalanced, you gain weight like no other. Your organs get squeezed and pushed up or side. Then after pregnancy your still hormonally unbalanced. And if you are lucky to stay home or as I am have no choice because childcare is like a college tuition these days. You have no peace of mind. I would love to make the lucrative thoughts in my head flourish and make them happen. But alas my role is a mom caretaker to my spouse who is OCD/ ADHD and needs help just like my one year old and maybe while I am in the shower or the bathroom I have a moment of solitude or at this moment when the rare nap session happens I can think of the thought of putting this blogging post together.

I  give working successful parents credit with no nanny’s. I give credit to those who have thoughts and make them happen. I have to now know that what I do now for my family is give them the tools to have their thoughts and make things happen in their lives.

The Beauty in being a homemaker….

So between last night and this morning I received well a disturbing wake up call and that is that being a mom to a 1 year old and trying to maintain my sanity as well as trying to be with someone who suffers from OCD / ADHD is not enough. My sanity is off the charts! My background is the corporate world and when I was forced to leave my job during my maternity leave anxiety of no job no insurance no money set in . my other half said its ok we will be fine. As we looked into daycares ect we saw how insanely expensive they were and boom I was a housemaker. I love being with mu munchkin but sometimes I need some me time quiet  alone no crying no sponge bob or mickey mouse club house or chuggington. I miss adult conversation that has nothing to do with children but maybe some intellectual stimulation. Talk about hobbies interests. My other half says I have plenty of time to myself when he comes home I watch game of thrones on sunday nights and have a glass of wine. He says he doesnt get that he clocks in and out at work then comes home and clocks in to dad. It burns me up becuase he comes in the room or when he cant get our son to sleep and complains he cant do it and I am in a dead sleep. I have to do it everyday all day 15 min of our son being excited his dad is home isnt anything to stress over and hes just pissed bc the kid wont close his eyes the minute he picks him up.  

I am a structured person normally. Motherhood doesnt allow structure. My workouts revolve around my son. I run 5k with him in tow. I strength train in the house while he watches disney movies. Then he naps and I recently am helping my other half’s business by finding leads for him to cold call. What I do for myself now is this blog and take pics of my kid sleeping which is starting to seem a lil creepy. All said and done I explained to my other half that after his massive rant n what I dont do is apologize because is most certainly right I am half assing the other duties in the house because I am with our son. And I will do the job description that which a housemaker is suppose to. In retro spect I will also put a pay chart so he knows what I am to get paid for and when I want to go out somewhere or buy something that just as this is my job and he has one I will get benefits as well. 

 

Some of the job description

• Perform basic household tasks; cooking, errands-running, laundry, cleaning and maintenance
• Plan and cook meals according to family’s personal preferences while keeping nutrition value in mind
• Decorate homes in order to create an inviting environment for owners
• Dust and mop floors and wash down bathrooms
• Wash windows and clean doors
• Dust surfaces and furniture
• Vacuum and wash carpets on a periodic basis
• Perform upkeep and minor repairs of the house
• Wash dishes and flatware and organize family belongings appropriately
• Ensure food portion control (in case of working in a facility)
• Create shopping lists and purchase groceries and other household items
• Maintain budgets by developing and overseeing expenditure
• Pay house bills and keep record of credit payments
• Oversee children by feeding, bathing, grooming and dressing them
• Assist children with homework and recreational activities
• Organize social activities and facilitate play dates
• Run errands to the post office, bank or car cleaners
• Report unsafe conditions to prevent hazards
• Provide personal assistance to the elderly by helping in feeding, toileting and walking
• Iron clothes and ensure that they are folded neatly and put away properly

Just with these exact tasks the average pay salary is $51 k.

Oh and if one day you read I moved to India its because there they are looking to have husbands pay their wives for staying at home a salary. Which I think is fair. 

Food for thought!

There beauty in the simplest of feelings….

Write about your strongest memory of heart-pounding belly-twisting nervousness: what caused the adrenaline? Was it justified? How did you respond?

My strongest memory or heart pounding belly twisting nervousness… I have so many I think I am just a ball of worrisome anxiety anyway I was born that way but we shall start at the beginning was when I reconnected with a childhood friend and I saw him for the first time after 11 years. I was had been going through a rough patch in life separated going to divorce counseling and getting ready for the next unknown step of my life. I always had this high school middle school photo book and as I was going through boxes of what to take back to florida in my move and what to throw out I came across the album. I started flipping through the album cringing at the pictures of myself with braces untamed frizzy hair. As I continued I saw cheerleading pictures friends senior pictures and I came across a strapping young lad. Football player Senior picture he was a sight all muscular no smile just one good looking kid that slightly reminded me of Matt Damon. Yum! Well I questioned myself what ever happen to this kid why did I not pay attention to him as I am right now in high school hmm what was he up too was he married happy?? Well I put it in the keep box and went to bed. The next morning at 4 am during my daily workout I was running on the treadmill the image of the picture crossed my mind after a 3 mile run I began back and bicep. As I was doing lateral pull downs I  got the urge to find him on face book I briefly remembered his last name and eureka I found him. Ok still cute I thought Ill send him a friend request. As I continued my last set I ot a notification boom it was him my stomach got butterflies I was a 29 yr old woman what the hell was wrong with me.  Well he sent me an email asking f I knew who he was I replied uhh ya and he later then recognized me. We asked each other what the other was doing up so early we each replied at the gym. As the day progressed we went from emails to instant messaging… to texting on the cell to a phone call days weeks past to skyping then I was to visit my mom back home and a meeting in feb. Now as we spoke he reminded me why we never dated I was caught up on someone else and he was my homecoming date senior year omg I remembered Ileft this poor guy for my crush at the time at homecoming how heart less I was! I vowed to make it up to him. And well after the first meeting my fate was sealed. 4 years later we have a lil boy and an amazing yet frustrating at times relationship.